Red Flags

Hey y’all! I guess my mom thinks she’s slick by conveniently asking me at the beginning of every month to guest blog for Unwrapping :) So I’ll be with you all at the top of every month to share a little something. Hope you enjoy!

I used to work as a Counselor at a domestic violence agency when I lived in Philadelphia a little over a year ago (shout out Domestic Abuse Project of DelCo (DAP)!). Being my first job after earning my Master’s Degree, I was blessed to say that I really enjoyed my job and beyond that, I loved my clients even more. I always tell my clients that I learn much more from them than they will probably ever learn from me.

A significant part of my role at DAP was helping my clients to identify “red flags” in past, current, and potential future relationships. Some common red flags included extreme jealously, controlling behaviors, isolation from loved ones, and gaslighting, just to name a few. In helping clients identify these tendencies, I cannot tell you how many times clients expressed how looking back on the relationship(s) (if they had successfully made it out) the red flags seemed so obvious to them; however, while they were in the relationship(s) the red flags were quickly overlooked and sometimes not noticed at all. Many times, clients would even make lists of red flags, as to more quickly identify these behaviors in future relationships and not repeat these same patterns.

While the psychology behind abusive relationships is much more complex than identifying red flags, I began to think about how God’s truth and goodness are much like red flags. How often do we find ourselves in messy situations and quickly forgetting who God is and what He says about us — the fact that He cannot fail, or the fact that His power is made perfect in our weakness? Or even just how many times He has sustained us before?

And, I wonder what change we might begin to see in our lives if we became so intentional about not overlooking God’s grace that we started a running list of these truths so that we are encouraged to — unlike my client’s relationships — run after Him, again and again. So maybe we could call them “green” flags instead of red flags... but either way, let’s make a habit of increasing our hope by reminding ourselves of these things often.

“11 But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
12 They are constantly in my thoughts.
I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.”
Psalm 77:11-12

XO,
tja