Lacking Nothing

Hey y’all!

Getting a little personal on the blog today, which in and of itself, is a leap of faith for me - ha! I’ve been told that I can be more of a “private” person, but when I read the theme for this month, the story I’m going to share is the first thing that came to mind, so I’ll take it as a nudge from God...

Now, when I think about having to hold tight to my belief (or beLEAF lol) in various seasons of life, I’ve had my fair share of those seasons in my adult life. But up until college, I’m blessed to say that I lived a relatively “easy” and privileged life. When I think about one of the first times my mature faith was put to test, it had to be when my engagement was called off to the guy I dated all through college. Long story short, we met within the first few weeks of freshman year, got engaged our senior year, and were planning to marry a couple years later after we both finished our graduate degrees. Well, that all came tumbling down a little over a year into our engagement when we realized that our lives were going in two different directions. He came to me and said that things felt “different” and we initially considered just “taking a break” (it’s a no for me) before officially calling it off. While my heart knew that this was the right thing to do, of course it still hurt and sucked to go through. Wedding plans were already underway and being the idealist that I am, I already had an idea of what my life was going to look like for at least the next 5 years!

Through my reflection and healing over the next few months, I came to realize that more than I had fallen in love with my ex-fiancé, I had fallen in love with the idea of what I thought my life was supposed to look like and what I thought God had promised me. Of course there was love between us, but more than that, I loved and had placed my hope in the picture that I had in my mind of exactly how my life was going to play out. TUH! God is still humbling me on this one.

Not every story wraps up with a pretty bow, but because this one did, I like to share hope as often as I can — just a few short months after my previous relationship ended, my very best friend (who also happens to be my childhood sweetheart) and I were brought back into each other’s lives. Our friendship was healing for the both of us, just as it was when we were kids, and ultimately led to us sealing the deal foreva, eva! What a beautiful picture that is! God is still healing some of my idealistic tendencies, but He has proven that His ideal is much better than mine could ever be. The life that my husband and I are building together far exceeds what my early-20-something mind could ever imagine, and I know it’s only going up from here! All of this to say, having everything means nothing if Jesus isn’t the main thing.

Love + hugs, Tori

“...3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”
James 1:3-4 (CSB)