Wait For It

By guest writer Chavon Phillips

“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest … shall not cease.”  Genesis 8:22.

This week's topic for Unwrapping Imperfection is “blossoming into more.” How apropos given we are in the middle of spring. The expensive lawn service treatments are finally yielding results, and flowers and trees are blooming all around us. I, hopefully like many of you, am also blooming, blooming into more, again. The process of blossoming is not a one-time occurrence, yet it is a cyclical process that we experience throughout the continuum of life. There are dry, dark seasons in which we feel forsaken by God. But now, even when it’s hard to “feel” His presence, He is omnipresent, and at your appointed time, you awaken, and bloom into more.

Jesus used agricultural examples in several of his parables to illustrate spiritual truths. Farming is not my thing, but I do appreciate wine. Not only for the taste or effect, but the intricacies of how a simple seed grows into a grape and then undergoes a grueling growth cycle and eventually develops into a complex beverage. Intriguing. Wines with pronounced flavors and unique tasting notes typically are cultivated in environments with rough soil and extreme climate swings. During harvest time, the grapes are meticulously picked, and just as in a natural life, the grapes that are eventually harvested and used for wine endured a rough season, but once picked, they bloom into more.

I was 35 years of age when I married. We were blessed with a comfortable lifestyle, genuinely loved and liked each other, we gave and were active in our church, prayed and studied the Word together, and he (is) ride-or-die for my family, as if he was a born Phillips out of the womb. We do not have children, yet believed it was our calling to do our part to carry on the legacy of keeping the family together, instilled in me by my grandparents. We served as stewards over the home God blessed us with by having frequent family gatherings, hosting everybody’s everything, serving a small group host via our church’s outreach, and hosting monthly dinner parties that were diverse by design.

Sounds boring to some. I know some women would detest such a life, but that’s all the little girl in me desired. I grew up with an absent father and a mother who was sporadically present due to mentally ill. Domestic life and a sense of normalcy and a home full of love, family and laughter perfect.

Then my husband became physically ill, which led to depression. He was a wonderful provider and a stabilizing force for so many. Having the very essence of who he was taken away from him prematurely was a blow we would not soon recover from. That led to me becoming alcohol dependent, and both of us suffering with depression. The financial stress we were under created additional stress; we would argue about the most frivolous topics. I did not wait 35 years to marry for this to happen within five years of marriage. I was in the darkest season of my adult life. Alcohol abuses, depression, illness, financial stress – I have yet to figure out what came first, but it became too much.

He moved out a few months before the stay-in-place mandate occurred due to covid, and we separated. The house in which so many memories were made, now felt like a huge, empty cage.

Heartache. Rejection. Loneliness. Failure. Shame. I was in a rough, tumultuous season. A year later, I found myself at the age of 40 moving back to my aunt’s home. Sidenote, shout out to my Aunt Carolyn, who I am eternally grateful for always being the safety net in our family.

But today, I am blooming into more! As a woman with no children, I have always put 125% of myself into my career. That’s my thing, by choice. I recently began a position that I put on my 2022 vision board. I had begun searching for a new position with no success and was growing frustrated, but the vision is for an appointed time … and though it terries, wait for it.” I thought this level of position would come in my 50s. I had self-doubt, but I’m now thriving. I have inner peace and joy that I haven’t experienced in years. My husband and I still love each other, and he has resumed his place as my best friend. Hold on You will bloom, into more, again!

Meet guest writer Chavon Phillips:
Chavon Phillips is the Vice President of HR at AFC Industries. She resides in Cincinnati, OH and enjoys watching documentaries, hot yoga, and entertaining and cooking for family and friends at home.